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For the most part, I would like to believe that I have my shite together. I no longer wear coal-coloured eyeliner up to near my eyebrows on a daily basis (an accidental make-up experiment which I toyed with for at least six months!), can differentiate my left from my right and have ceased to believe that The North Pole is a legitimate holiday destination. But throw a spider into my life equation, and I ABSOLUTELY and not-so-fabulously lose all of the slight wisdom or knowledge that I've cultivated over the past 22 years. In short, I am TERRIFIED of them. Petrified. The bizarre, check-under-your-bed-every-night breed of a fear of spiders. It's irrational, it's wasteful and it's ridiculous, but it's very real and something that I only acknowledged was an unhealthy habit after discussing my phobia with a friend, who looked at me thoughtfully before murmuring, ''wow. That's.. intense. I can't imagine what that must be like to live with.. a FEAR of something totally unnecessary.'' That, and the fact that after discovering one in my bedroom recently, I refused to re-enter it for four days and have slept on the couch ever since. Yes, FOUR days. And I know, it's MENTAL, right?! (But in my defense, Australian spiders aren't the wee, almost-friendly-in-hindsight types that I encountered growing up in New Zealand.. they're of the large, sometimes poisonous, size-of-your-outstretched hand variety!)

At this point, it's probably necessary to explain that I'm not expecting a flurry of violins to descend into a sombre tune, as it IS a very trivial matter in comparison to a myriad of other world events - but all the same, a phobia can be a very debilitating and crippling experience, and it's something that a lot of people can harvest, whether it's an anxiety over public speaking, a terror induced by snakes or distress sustained through heights.

It's an aversion of the most extreme form that I want to eradicate immediately, and although I'm sure that I will never be able to glance upon them fondly, I WOULD like to reach a point where I can glimpse at one from across the room without dissolving into a hysterical heap. Are you with me? Do you harbour a neurosis that you'd like to confront, whether it's an apprehension of the dark, or a more unusual resentment, such as peas? (Don't laugh, I promise that I'm not joking about this! Alicia of Sea Of Ghosts informed me that she'd heard about this exact phobia exisiting!) Or, even better, do you have any advice on how to vanquish such repulsions?

♥

xoxo

P.S. A special thank-you must go to the all-around excellent Ms. Constantine, who has been a terrific help with my spider disasters over the past few days, and who gave me the idea for this topic! Thank-you immensely!

(Image thanks to Mark Andrew Webber.)