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Snakes! Heights! Bird-eating spiders! Skinny jeans!

Okay, so skinny jeans may not be a natural progression on the fear scale for EVERYONE (are you listening to me, Kate Moss?! No, because she's probably off staring at her enormous collection of skinny jeans!), but for many, the idea of wearing the tapered style of jean that's so skinny it had to be called, well, broomstick - no, skinny - is a very real, very terror-inducing wardrobe situation: I mean, there's the tightness of it all! The form-fitting fabric! The cuts (super-skinny or a slightly more friendlier straight-leg cut?)! The shades (cobalt black or magenta?)! The details to decide upon (zippers or studs or both?!)! Few items of clothing will provoke such an utter internal debate!

And there's the other questions: ''am I too SHORT for skinny jeans?'', ''am I too TALL for skinny jeans?'' and ''my first name isn't Kate and oddly enough, my surname isn't Moss, can I wear skinny jeans?''

To all of which I say: no, no, and YES! Enemy or demon piece of clothing these are not: much like ponchos adorned at Woodstock, I think that there's a way of making every wardrobe item work - and these are no exception!

Take it away, Jennifer, Victoria, Kate, Sienna, Scarlett and Kim!

Victoria (second left), Kate (middle) and Sienna (second right) like theirs well-fitted, rolled up, with heels (a not-so-secret skinny jean weapon) and even brightly coloured, while Jennifer (far left) and Scarlett (far right) like theirs loose and midnight-blue, and while I am EXTREMELY reluctant to call them ''curvy'' - firstly because I don't believe that they actually are, and secondly because using the term ''curvy'' to describe another person's figure always kind of irks me; after all, what IS ''curvy''? It seems to be a word that's flung around with wild abandon that nobody really seems to understand: is it a media euphemism for ''fat''? Are we referring to somebody's ACTUAL curves? What are curves? Doesn't everybody have SOME sort of ''curve''? Oh, I could go on all day! But I won't, because at some point you'd probably like to relax and eat some dinner and maybe watch a spot of television instead, right? Right! - they're the perfect representation that you don't necessarily have to be named Kate to make them look excellent. (And on a side note, I was once taught by a stylist that if your thighs aren't your favourite feature, selecting a pair of jeans in a darker shade makes the whole wearing process a LOT easier, as they're more ''flattering''!)

There are three things to observe in this photo of Kim Kardishian, and one of them isn't the interesting headband/turban hybrid that's on her forehead! (Did I just hear a disappointed sigh?!) Yes, she's wearing heels, and yes, she's wearing skinny jeans in a darker shade, but did you notice that she's also wearing a longer singlet, too? This is another not-so-secret skinny jean weapon: pairing a longer singlet, tunic or mini-dress with skinny jeans stops the focus from being purely on your legs, so that you don't feel so ''see.. my.. LEGS! See my legs!'' in a Simpsons 'See My Vest' kind of way. (And if you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, then I suggest you click here immediately!)

See! Jennifer knows!

Common Skinny Jean Complaint #435756: ''But they just feel so up and down and STRANGE! I'm not used to not having a flare around my ankles!''

Oh, I understand! (It IS strange, isn't it?!) But why not roll with it and just tuck them into a splendid pair of ankle boots, instead?

Or opt for something completely different, and shred the bejesus out of them?

Or don a tie-dyed version?! (Personally, I think that these would look fantastic on ANY figure!)

♥

When it comes to skinny jeans, how do you feel about them? Do you rate them, hate them, or think about them strictly in nightmares?! And if you do own a pair, how do you like to wear yours?

It took me a while to embrace them, but have now come to appreciate their unique style: but trust me when I say that I'm all about the long-singlet-or-tunics look!

xoxo

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