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How To Conquer A Workplace Bully ♥
January 25, 2010

''I was wondering if you could write an article on the subject of workplace conflict. I have just landed a job - my DREAM job - only to find that some of the people I work with are awful. Do you have any advice on what I can do to improve the situation? I really don't want to have to leave.''

Ah, yes - workplace conflict - a subject that will resonate well with most of us at some point during our lives, I think! Fear not, however - there is absolutely no need for you to have to leave your job, and plenty of solutions to the problem!

x Scenario #1: ''The People Are Awful/Nobody Likes Me.''

Firstly - don't be so hard on yourself! One of the most particularly interesting and challenging aspects of any workplace is discovering a variety of different personalities, attitudes and ideas - particularly if you're starting at a new company, and aren't used to the environment. At this stage, it can be very easy to take things personally, out of context, and assume the worst (''why does nobody seem to like me?!'') - but the reality is that it often takes time to establish relationships in the workplace, and at any given time, someone can be going through a host of problems that we're not aware of, which could be completely responsible for a less-than-warm demeanour. (For example - Wayne, from Customer Service? TOTALLY going through a divorce right now - hence why he isn't overly talkative!) The trick? Don't sweat it! Win everybody over by exuding a kind, warm personality. Radiate enthusiasm. Take the effort to regularly enquire about your co-workers' lives by asking them questions such as what they did over the weekend, how long have they worked in the company, and which bands/TV shows/movies make their heart race. If you overhear a colleague lamenting an increasing workload, offer your assistance. Make Mondays sweeter for everyone by sharing a box of cupcakes, or purchasing a lolly jar and filling it with an assortment of delicious treats. Initiate team lunches, and most importantly, SMILE - it's contagious!

x Scenario #2: ''I'm The Subject Of Gossip!''

Overheard Sue from Accounts finishing a rather unflattering sentence around the water-cooler about you? Again? Stay cool! Firstly, above anything else, make it your personal mission to avoid gossip at all costs - it's boring, destructive and utterly draining - and in my experience, it says very little about the person in question, but actually, a whole lot about the instigators. By adopting a 'No-Gossip' policy, not only will it remove you from the centre of any drama (and make you less likely to be a target), it will also help you to maintain your integrity. Secondly, trust that at the end of the day, no matter WHAT, a person's true character will always shine through - if you are fair, honest and hard-working, this will always beat the odds (i.e. nasty gossip!) and ensure that you come out on top. This can be hard to see at the time, but is so, so true, believe me! If it becomes a serious problem, however, always consult a member from the Human Resources department or your Manager, and inform them of the situation - they're  trained professionals, after all, and are responsible for assisting you in these areas!

x Scenario #3: ''My Boss Is A Total Nightmare!''

Perhaps it's their intense micro-management, 'Seagull' style techniques (you know, the ones who swoop in, %$#@ on everything and then leave?), irrational behaviour, or total lack of manners - the reality? At some stage, we've all had a brush with an unpleasant person in authority. So how do you handle the situation? Learn to stand up for yourself. No, I'm not talking about challenging your boss to a duel in the carpark, but rather, developing an assertiveness and feeling comfortable exerting it. For example, if they make a cruel remark(which they mistake for a humourous, witty quip!) you could try saying something such as''that's a funny thing to say, Rhonda. What makes you say that?'' If it's their increasingly unreasonable expectations, schedule a meeting and explain to your boss that you would like to prioritise your workload together, so that you can both establish which tasks are the most important for you to complete. If, however, they're engaging in any kind of bullying or harrassment, again, consult the HR Department or the Director of the company - while it may seem like an intimidating prospect, it doesn't have to be. Your HR Department or Director doesn't necessarily have to inform your boss that you have made a complaint - they can handle the situation diplomatically by saying something along the lines of ''We've noticed that you seem to speak to ___ this way - are you aware of how that may make __ feel?'' And if your complaint is not taken seriously? Move on, sunshine! (I mean, would you really want to work for a company that treats its staff in an unprofessional manner, anyway?!)

Have you ever experienced a difficult work environment? A colleague from hell? (No names, please!) A brush with a gossip-obsessed fiend? Share!

xoxo

(Image thanks to hsuawei.)

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