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The loss of a relationship can be, at times, incredibly difficult. Retiring to a cocoon of blankets and never emerging may be of the utmost temptation, as might diving headfirst into a packet of cigarettes, a bottle of vodka or the nearest available man (or woman!). There will be days where you feel strong, together and even mildly optimistic, and others where you feel lonely, scared and convinced that you will never smile, feel positive or want to live again. (Or, that if one more person offers the ''plenty of fish in the sea'' line, you will completely and utterly snap.) However, it's important to remember that a separation is NOT the end of everything. Rather, it is a fresh, new beginning - an OPPORTUNITY. A chance to re-discover yourself, conquer your dreams, and meet more fabulous, amazing people. Although you may not believe me now (oh, yes - I see that look of total disbelief!), I promise you - it's 100% true, and you WILL feel better. Here's how:


1. Accept Your Emotions.


Cry, scream, punch a pillow, yell, curse - whatever it takes! Allow yourself time to grieve, and feel emotion.


2. Place A (Temporary!) Ban On All Romantic Songs/Movies/Articles/Etc.


There is a time when you will want to consume these - now is definitely not it! Don't worry, I'm not suggesting that you throw out your copy of The Notebook now - the ban is only temporary. (I suggest at least a week.)



3. Arm Yourself With Friends.


They will be one of your best weapons! Spend time together laughing, dancing, hugging and planning fun adventures. Talk. Drink tea. Eat ice-cream at 3am.

One of the most uncomfortable and strange aspects of the demise of a relationship can be the realisation that you used to call Bob/Jane every time you experienced something exciting, or had news to share - call your friends instead. They will appreciate that you took the time to speak with them, and you will soon discover that you can function without calling your partner.


4. Don't Start A New Relationship/Sleep With Someone/Call The Last Person That Was Interested In You.


It may seem like a perfectly good idea at the time, but please believe me when I say that it will only cause a world of pain - just DON'T DO IT! I have often heard people say things such as (myself included) ''but it was over between me and Cameron ages ago, I REALLY like Todd!'' That's fine, and may be true, but please do the respectful thing (for you AND your prospective partner) and wait. It doesn't matter if your break-up with someone else was inevitable; if you truly like somebody, and want it to work, the best thing that you can do is wait, and give the relationship the best possible opportunity.


5. Surround Yourself With Beautiful, Positive & Encouraging Things.


Read articles that empower, inspire and motivate you. (I am a huge fan of Steve Pavlina, Dumb Little Man, Zen Habits and The Positivity Blog - but my Links I Love page contains plenty of other superb websites, too!) Find pictures that enchant you. Search for lyrics which inspire awe, and people that challenge your perceptions and beliefs (in a good way!).


6. Give Yourself Something To Look Forward To.


In what is often a confusing, miserable time, it can be near impossible to imagine a period where you will feel excited again - which is why it's so important to plan things to give yourself something to look forward to. Book a holiday, devise a vintage shopping expedition, purchase a new dress, start a painting class - anything! Grab a calendar or a diary, and start plotting a list of things that you can do. Not only will it improve your levels of happiness, it will provide you with something else to think about, and remind you that wonderful things do exist.


7. Spend Time Developing A Deeper, Fuller, Better You.


Use this time to discover yourself - what makes you happy? What are your values? What do you want to achieve? Which aspects of your personality need improvement, and which parts need nurturing? Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years time? Asking yourself such questions, and discovering what truly makes you tick, will not only develop and enhance you as a person, but will also put you in the best possible position for having an incredible life.


8. Remind Yourself That Everything Happens For A Reason.


Although we may not see it at the time, everything happens for a reason. Life tests us, challenges us, and regularly throws hurdles in our way. Sometimes, these can be heartbreaking, nerve-wracking and terrifying situations - but we ultimately emerge as stronger, wiser and smarter beings, and it's often not until a few years down the track that we can look back with an appreciation for what we went through, and feel a sense of understanding as to why certain events transpired. Life truly is an amazing, beautiful thing, and one of the most brilliant things about it is that we never really know what's around the corner - but trust yourself. Trust that perhaps the reason why your relationship ended is because in a year's time, you'll find the partner of your dreams backpacking around Germany, or you'll meet a fantastic musician who will make you happier than you ever could have imagined - the world is full of extraordinary possibilities, so allow yourself to receive them! Above all - love yourself. Remember that the universe is looking after you, and that your life is unfolding exactly as it has planned - that everything is merely a lesson in the path to becoming your most fabulous, sparkling, and blissful self.

♥


xoxo

(Image thanks to ellaaa.)