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For some, there was a ''gothic'' phase. For others, perhaps a ''matching'' phase. Or a ''punk rocker'' phase. Or a ''purple dinosaur suit'' phase! (Okay, so that was probably just Barney, but feel free to come forward!)

And speaking of dinosaurs, while I've previously learned that evolution-wise, my style has apparently only progressed as far as they ever did, phase wise, I'm convinced that I've at least entered primate territory. 

Let's review!

The ''I Love Plastic Jewellery And Pink Dresses!'' Phase

Alright, so nothing's really changed there (you should see the plastic turquoise-coloured number that I bought on my lunch break yesterday at a second-hand store for 50 cents, woo HOO!), nor has there been a shift on my ''I love dogs!'' stance, but hear me out: there HAVE been other (much more drastic) developments!

The ''It Fits? I'll Take It!'' Phase

And gosh, what a spectacular, confidence-boosting romp in the park that was! Well, if ''spectacular'' means ''terrible'' and ''romp in the park'' means ''horrible changing room session'', that is. Because believe me, it was GHASTLY. Things That You May Not Know About Me: my middle name is Jade. Things That You May Not Know About Me (The Sequel): (And Might Actually Be Interested In, Whee!): between the ages of 13-15, I was an Australian size 18-20 (that's an american size 16-18, or for added fun, a Czech size XL-2XL.)

Yes, upon leaving New Zealand behind (and karate) as a twelve year old and moving to Australia, I not only managed to discover the joys of snakes and hand-sized spiders, but food! Oh, the food. I heaped on the weight and unlike today where we have a plentiful array of plus-size fashion stores by the likes of City Chic and Dream Diva, when I was a teenager, there was nothing. In fact, the only choices available in those sizes were boutique garments specifically created for middle aged women, not newly teenage girls, and so I spent a good bad couple of years wandering around in oversized sports jumpers and an extremely unflattering (and middle aged) pair of beige pants. It was horrendous, and unlike everyone else at high school who positively REJOICED at the news of a no-uniform day, I would be filled with dread: because what would I wear? How could I look even MODERATELY ''cool''? I didn't know, but my mother and I would spend a painstaking amount of time the night before trying to find out, racing around shopping malls searching for anything that would fit. Invariably, nothing would, so I would usually come home with another sports jumper and pair of middle aged pants. All together now: ARGH!

The ''Oh My Goodness! So THIS Is What It Feels Like To Be Able To Walk Into A Shop And FIT Something Again!'' Phase

Tired of never being able to fit 99.9% of everything in all shops, my mother and I signed up for a weight loss program together shortly after and slowly, we began to lose weight. In fact, I soon started losing enough weight to be able to actually walk into a store in a shopping centre and squeeze a leg into something! (Sometimes even two!) Imagine that! It was EXHILIRATING. I could buy dresses, skirts, tops and jeans with gay abandon (and did), and best of all, there wasn't a pair of beige pants in sight! Bea-utiful. This sparked the beginning of the almighty ''I love shopping!'' phase (it was also the ''dreadlock'' phase, as you can see!), which soon, post dreadlocks, morphed into:

The ''I Can't Believe It's Not Butter I Feel Like A GIRL Again!'' Phase

Yes, a GIRL! And oh, what a feeling! (Toyota?!)

I know that this may sound sound completely ridiculous, but of all the things I regularly felt like as a teenager, ''girly'' was most definitely not one of them. Or ''pretty''. Or ''hedgehog like''! (But that's probably not as relevant.) But after losing almost an entire toddler from my frame (this is no exaggeration; I lost nearly thirty kilos!), I started to dip my toes into the previously unknown - and extraordinarily exciting - pools of make-up and dresses, and as stupid as it might sound, it felt AMAZING. To be able to wear whatever I wanted! To be able to dress up like everyone else could! F-u-n. My love affair with both has continued to this day, but thankfully, my obsessive need to shop (and the hideous ''designer'' phase that accompanied it a couple of years later!) has disappeared. Phew!

♥

Unbuckling our seatbelts after our unexpected drive through Memory Lane, tell me! What are some of the clothing phases that you've been through? Crimping? Tie-dye? Spice Girls inspired platform shoes?! I promise not to laugh - hey, I just shared a photograph in which ''guess which one is the pig?!'' is scrawled - not by me! - on the back of it!

xoxo

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