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Um, Is This The Secretary For The ‘I Hate Pores’ Club? Cancel My Membership! ♥
in I Want... Beauty!27 Jul 2010 | 16 Comments
Now, I like to think that I don't have ANY nemeses: I mean, asparagus? Sure, we don't like each other, but we'll still be all friendly and smile at one another when we occasionally bump (forks?!) into each other. Frizz? Okay, so there's a teensy bit of anguish there, but since embracing the (old) magnificence that is hairspray, we've slowly been trying to make amends. But pores? Excuse me while I take a stroll down Terrible Pun Street, but poor pore, pore me, they're a nightmare!
Yes, pores. Those unfriendly little small openings in your skin where oil and sweat love to fester, often ruining a perfectly made-up face. They're the facial equivalent of a drunken, surly gatecrasher at an otherwise excellent soiree` that you're attending, aggressively pushing through your foundation and scaring away your poor, trembling bronzer. And despite my many advances towards other products, my hopeful looks and ‘'so, uh, do you come here often?'' openers have all been unsuccessful. Blotting papers? Forget about it! We've engaged in a brief affair, but it quickly ended when my repeated requests to not take half my make-up off with them each time we came into contact fell on deaf ears. Plus, it was just getting kind of awkward: I never remembered to take them out of my bathroom drawer, and they accused me of stifling them. Oops.
And then there were those weird pore strip things. Well! It was fun to slap a product that resembled a band-aid over the bridge of my nose the first time, but by the fourth application I couldn't help but observe that a real reduction in my pores' appearance would have been much more entertaining.
‘'Oh, I give UP!'' I cried exasperatedly the other morning. ‘'Can't we just call a truce, pores?!'' They began to laugh wickedly and I could feel myself slumping, recognising defeat. And then I spied something else; something else entirely different!
‘'Hi,'' it said, grinning charismatically as it made its way over. ‘'My name's Benefit's The Pore-fessional. Apply me in the morning underneath your make-up and touch me up during the day for a smooth, refined, and practically poreless complexion. PRESTO! No more pores!''
‘'Oh, pft,'' I guffawed. ‘'Poreless?! No more pores? Please! I've heard that before!''
It shrugged smugly, confident in its aqua-blue suit. ‘'Fine, fine. Be as dismissive as you like. But I hear those membership fees to the ‘I Hate Pores' club are getting p-retty pricey!''
For the second time that day, I slumped defeatedly. It was right. I immediately grabbed Pore-fessional and began applying it frantically, almost hoping that I could utter ‘'it's not working!'' in a similarly ridiculous sing-song voice: I hate to lose an argument with a cosmetic, darn it! But as the day rolled on, it was becoming increasingly obvious that I was going to - I hadn't heard a single ''oh, yoohoo!'' peep out of my pores and amazingly, I wasn't blindingly shiny by noon! PORE-fect. It's early days, so I don't want to get too cocky and all ''in your FACE, pores!'' just yet, but so far? I'm smitten! Think primer-like, but harder working. Pore-fessional indeed!
♥
Have you ever suffered at the hands cheeks of a pore bully? What do you recommend? (Or is your beauty related ailment a completely different foe altogether?!)
xoxo
Comments (16)
I have no opinion about pores or the benefits of Benefit cosmetics but I just wanted to say that your review made me laugh out loud (in a quiet contained way as I am at work after all and don't want to give the 'googling when I should be filing' game away!)
You have such a way with words!
29 Jul 2010, Nicola, www.pointypix.blogspot.com
I"ve never tried anything for my pores...I guess I don't really have a problem with them! Lucky? I love wearing primer though!
28 Jul 2010, Joanne Faith, http://www.joannefaith.com
Oh, I used to like those pore strip things. Not because they worked, but because they made my skin feel nice afterwards :)
This 'porefessional' stuff does sound like a godsend though. My pores are weird, some days they're not an issue at all, and other days I want to punch them but I can't because then I'd be punching myself in the face.
28 Jul 2010, Alex, http://stockingsneededmending.blogspot.com
I have a problem with pores too, but not as much as you did. I mostly have a problem with redness, and since I'm not too into makeup I guess I just have to deal with it. (I might actually use this product - thanks for the review!)
28 Jul 2010, Marie, http://nothing-better.org
My pores are gigantic. I will try this! I have greasy skin, and I like the Body Shop's seaweed facial cleanser to balance the oil on my face.
28 Jul 2010, Saffron, http://saffron-sugar.blogspot.com/
Oh man, those pore strip thingies. Gah! Always seemed to leave a little glue behind. :/
27 Jul 2010, Annie Spandex, http://anniespandex.com
Looks like a product that I need - the best one I have tried for pores is the Estee Lauder one that is so expensive I cannot afford it, but was lucky enough to get a mini bottle as a giveaway - every time I wore it, people kept telling me how great I looked......one day I may be able to buy a full size bottle of the pore minimiser. xxx ma
27 Jul 2010, Corrine's ma
Kathryn - Colour me envious!
Brianna - Are you from Australia, lovely Brianna? Because if so, it's only just hit our shores!
Julie - Benefit always come up with the best product names :D (And no I do not work there/am not being paid to say that!) And thank-you so much Julie, you too!
Raquel - I seem to flit between that and the ''it's new? Ooh, what does it do?!'' wagon. Love those wagons!
Jade - I did, and failed embarrassingly! But thanks a bunch Jade, it was so great to meet you on Sunday!
Valerie - No, of course it's not wrong! And yes, yes, it is.
Anisha - Me too. And actually, their perfumes are flippin' delicious, too. Thanks Ani, and have fun on your shopping trip! :D
Belinda-Jane - I'm not sure if Benefit have a specific blackhead-targeting product (but will find out!), but I know that brands like Clearasil have a few!
27 Jul 2010, x Corrine/Frock & Roll x, www.frockandrollonline.com
I hate pores!!! And blackheads too. Your ad just reminded me of that. Is there a product for blackheads too? :)
27 Jul 2010, Belinda-Jane
Hmm, yeah, pores are a bit tricky!
I love the Benefit stuff - especially their highlighter and the foundation and now this...
Ohhh, I'm going on a shopping trip today and you just pointed me in the right direction!
27 Jul 2010, Anisha, http://livelifedeeply.net
Is it wrong that I don't even know what pores are, lol? I get really shiny skin but I guess if I don't know what they are I should be ok. Still, it looks like a great product. I love Benefit and their packaging is always beautiful
27 Jul 2010, Valerie
Brilliant review, fortunately I'm lucky enough not to have any pore issues but if I were this sounds like the HG of pore perfecting products (try saying that three times quickly) to have
27 Jul 2010, Jade , http://jademusing.tumblr.com/
My skin is pretty much fine left to do its own thing...apart from hormonal pimples which are SERIOUSLY annoying. I don't wear any foundation, which probably helps. I've also noticed that my skin has been even better since I started using coconut oil on it.
Haha yeah I'm on the "all natural, none of that chemical shit, OH COME ON do I really NEED that product??" wagon. Woo hoo!
27 Jul 2010, Raquel, http://misschiaroscuro.blogspot.com
I ignore my pores most of the time :P, they don't cause huge trouble so no need for us to be at war.
I did notice them shrinking when I change moisturizer but that might be just me.
How awesome is that products name PORE-fessional XDD that made me smile.
Have a super awesome week Corrine!
27 Jul 2010, Julie, http://juliettemaxwell.com
Luurrrrve it! :) I get shiny skin too but acne is my beauty enemy, arghh! I haven't seen this one before.
27 Jul 2010, Brianna , https://twitter.com/breee_c
I don't have any particular issue with my pores. Actually I can't think of any beauty issue... OMG I'm perfect!!!!!
27 Jul 2010, kathryn, http://www.project-kathryn.com
