They love you, you love them, and quite frankly, you’re growing the teeniest bit tired of being entwined in the tiring dance of hauling your belongings between their place and yours every weekend, so kapow! It’s decided! You’re moving in together!
Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS! What an exciting time! But secondly (and now, I don’t want to sound like The Fun Police here and all, because nobody likes them!), but to protect the beauty of your wonderful relationship, it may be necessary to roll out the red rug of all rules so that your time together can continue to be blissful and delightful, and not so much ‘’uh, I’m going to KILL you ’’. Here’s how! :
x Step #1: If You’re Not Already Acquainted With The Joyous (And Did I Mention LIFESAVING?!) Word That Is Compromise, Introduce Yourself!
For a fairly small word, it sure packs a LOT of power, and it’ll quickly become your new best friend when you’re on the verge of pulling your hair out because you’d really fantasized about having a modern, romantic-style décor` in your new digs and he’s already decked out the place with an African safari theme!
x Step #2: Decide Who Will Pay For What, And WHEN
Will one person cover the amount of the rent each week, while the other takes care of the bills and the grocery shopping, or will you split the cost of everything?
Establishing some financial ground rules BEFORE co-habitating will avoid the likelihood of squabbling over money later, which rarely spells anything other than bo-ring and and also, di-sas-ter!
x Step #3: Have A Basic Understanding Of Each Other's Needs
Who needs the bathroom first in the morning? What foods makes your stomach churn? And, well, now that you've mentioned it, who will be doing the cooking each night?! While these may sound like obvious guidelines, it’s important to have a basic understanding of each other's needs to ensure that you don’t have a ‘’what? But how was I supposed to know that it wasn’t a good idea to bring my friend Mark home at 3am to play loud music when you have to be up for work at 6am?!’’ scenario on your hands further down the track!
x Step #4: Respect Each Other’s Space
There will be times when it will seem that no matter how much you wriggle in to snuggle with each other on the couch, you’re still too far apart. And there are others when it will seem that even spending time in a separate room from each other seems much, much too close! The solution? Learning when a healthy dose of time-out is required! (After all, do you remember that episode of Sex & The City where Carrie first moves in with Aidan, and laments to Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha in the coffee shop that every single time she comes home he’s ‘’all up in her face’’ exclaiming ‘’how was your day? Who did you see? What did you do? Who do you know?’’, and that, well, she was growing ever-so tired of it? Yeah. Not-so-great. ) Respecting each other’s space is all a part of maintaining the ebb and flow of a magnificent relationship, so learn when it’s time to give one another a bit of it!
Have you ever moved in with a loved one? What were/are your saving graces?
(Image thanks to pipstuff.)
My boyfriend and I are thinking of moving in together, looking for flats at the moment. It's gotten to the point where I haven't slept at home in over a month. Thankfully we get on like two peas in a pod & we are already discussing finances. :)
I lived with boyfriends (4x) currently live my current bf we've been living together jsut us two the last 6 months. I love living with bfs is a lot of fun
Well put (-: I tend to move my boyfriends stuff around a lot haha oops hahaha.
My boyfriend and I are looking for a place together. A place for both of us and for his daughter to come stay at...
I'm going to need my space, I seem to get all grumpy and angry when i'm with someone 24/7.
but at the same time i'm excited to be moving in with the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
We haven't moved in, but last year we were always over at each other's house and would stay for weeks sometimes. I agree with having personal space!! It's important to make sure you have a life outside your relationship as well, as in keeping time for your friends or pursuing hobbies you like that he may not necessarily be into and vice versa. Sorting out how the whole money situation will go is also quite important, probably to be looked at before you move in to make sure you're on the same terms even! Also I'm an only child, and the thought of having to share absolutely everything is quite scary to me so I've already told him I'll need a room for myself he he he.
I moved in with my partner after we had only dating for a month. I know, it's shocking right? While it worked out well for us, I wouldn't recommend it, because we didn't have time to figure out all the banalities of everyday life, which has made it a VERY steep learning curve.
The main thing that I would say to anyone else is, be prepared to work on your relationship. Things will be hard, but if you're prepared to work then you can get through almost any situation.
currently live with my boy in a 1.5 bedroom flat. it's reeeaaally tiny (we both can't fit in the kitchen at the same time!) and surprisingly, we manage well.
agree on the money thing- its so boring to talk about but NEEDS to be done. nothing worse than resenting your partner because of money problems.
i think communication is key. if you're the type to sulk when there is a problem, instead of talking it through, it will not last long.
My biggest tip is to have your own space. Last year, my partner and I lived in a tiny 1 bedroom flat... SO not big enough! Now we live in a 3 bedroom place, and though we have housemates, the living areas are much bigger so we can get away from each other if necessary!
I'd also like to add that it's ok to have your own interests and friends. One can even go out WITHOUT their partner! *shock, horror*
You both have more to bring to the relationship if you're different people :)